


Holiday Aspirations

by Orange17



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F, holiday nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:26:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28231641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orange17/pseuds/Orange17
Summary: In Waverly’s quest to have a festively decorated Main Street in time for Christmas, she realizes she might not know as much as she thinks she does about a shop owner from down the street who lacks a certain holiday spirit. Three years after Nicole moved to Purgatory, maybe they can get over their rocky beginnings.
Relationships: Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 78
Kudos: 199





	1. Chapter 1

Waverly hopped out of bed, rising with the sun. It had only been a couple hours since she lay down on the old mattress in the room above Shorty’s, but she was wide-awake, filled with all the enthusiasm of a kid on Christmas morning. Except that it was November 1. 

She stretched, slowly working out the soreness from serving the raucous Halloween crowd the night before. Waverly continued, swinging her arms before reaching for her overnight bag that was resting atop one of the nearly organized cardboard boxes stored in the largely unused room, and dressed for the day. 

This was a tradition she relished as much as the season itself, even as she hefted the first of many boxes down into the bar. She stopped only to start the coffee maker and connect her phone to the speakers, a particular playlist only used on this occasion and already queued up, before hurrying back upstairs for another box. 

Three trips later, she heard the turn of a key in the lock echo through the empty building, and the doors groaned open. 

“I’m gettin’ too old for this shit, girl,'' Gus grumbled, peeling off her coat. “Might want to start recruiting for next year.” 

Waverly pouted before pouring her aunt a mug of coffee and adding a splash of peppermint simple syrup. “Oh come on, you know you love helping. It’s just like when I was little!” 

Gus eagerly accepted the mug, wrapping her hands around the ceramic and blowing on the steaming surface before answering. “ _ Not _ just like when you were a kid. All I had to do was help you hang ornaments on the top of the tree. The rest was your uncle.” 

This time of year, and inevitably all that she had planned for today, had always accentuated how much she missed her Uncle Curtis since he passed away. Still, she wasn’t prepared for the wave of sadness that Gus’s statement would bring out. 

“I know,” Gus added sadly, seeming to read Waverly’s mind. “Somehow gets harder without him each year, doesn’t it?” 

Waverly looked away before nodding, her mind filling in the current scene of the bar with memories from years ago, some she didn’t even know she still had: her uncle dragging a ridiculously large, fresh-cut pine through the doors and spraying pine needles across the floor to Gus’s dismay, singing along while he played Christmas carols on the piano, and Curtis lifting her up so she could string lights from the ceiling and all the other places she couldn’t reach.

“Alright, what are my marching orders?” Gus asked, pulling Waverly back from memories of Christmases past. 

They spent the morning decorating the exterior together before Gus retreated back into the warmth to open up the bar. Waverly put on the finishing touches before heading back inside too. Instead, she retreated upstairs to hang wreaths and garland in the windows that faced the street. Her aunt set up the artificial tree and had started decorating it by the time Waverly hopped down the stairs to hang lights inside and tinsel everything in sight. 

It was well into the evening before Waverly had finished and was content with her display. She stepped out into the night, her bag slung over her shoulder and coat pulled tightly around her against the chill in the air. Gus had departed hours ago, but Waverly paused outside her bar to admire their handiwork, glowing lights cutting through the darkness. 

Standing outside alone in the dark served as another reminder of loss, as she remembered anxiously waiting until the sun had set enough to drag her uncle out to appreciate the lights, bright against the night sky. She sighed, turning her back to the building and willing her grief aside. 

Before she stepped toward her Jeep, she took a long glance up and down the street, taking in the various storefronts, most closed and darkened, a few still illuminated. She eyed them carefully, lips turning in a smug smile as she scanned, seeing she was the first with any holiday decorations out. Again. 

Her gaze darted back to one store along the row, and she froze. It was mostly dark, and Waverly knew it to be long after its closing time, but there was a faint glow of light, visible through the windows. As if an employee or its owner was working late. Again. 

She frowned, automatically moving toward the shop. Waverly hadn’t taken more than a few steps before she stopped abruptly, fear and nausea growing in her stomach. 

She shook her head and swallowed, forcing the feeling down, before turning back toward her Jeep. 

\--

Over the next two weeks, decorations slowly made their way up in storefronts along Purgatory’s main street, turning it into a festive wonderland. With one exception. 

Its proprietor was predictable—not only in their lack of holiday spirit but in their day-to-day routine—and Waverly had planned to use that to her advantage this year to coax them into joining the rest. 

As she did every week, Nicole walked into the bar on Tuesday, a few minutes after her own store closed, and eased onto a bar stool. 

At the first glance of a burgundy beanie and camo jacket, Waverly poured a shot of Nicole’s usual whiskey and an extra shot of peppermint schnapps,  _ not  _ a part of Nicole's standard order, and placed both in front of her while Nicole scanned the draft list. 

“Let me guess, that new craft beer from Edmonton?” Waverly prompted, knowing it was the microbrew with the lowest ABV on tap. 

Nicole nodded, and Waverly grabbed a pint glass from the stack and turned toward the taps. When she returned, Nicole was apprehensively eyeing the clear shot in front of her. 

“What’s this?” Nicole asked, holding it up. 

Waverly smiled. “A little holiday spirit for you, ya scrooge.” 

Nicole shrugged before placing it back on the counter and tossing back her whiskey instead. 

Waverly bit her lip and pushed down the rejection before continuing. “Are you going to decorate this year?” 

“Nah, probably not,” Nicole replied, absentmindedly spinning her empty shot glass on the counter. 

“But it’s fun! It gets you and your customers into the holiday spirit! And yours is the only shop on the street without decorations.” 

Nicole just shrugged, so Waverly rambled on, filling the silence. “I have some extra stuff, lights, ornaments, you know… if you need anything.” 

“Not really the festive type.” 

Waverly opened her mouth, but her argument died on her tongue with the finality in Nicole’s tone. She turned away, resolving to find another approach before the end of the night. 

She wracked her brain and served other customers, losing track of time as she came up empty. When she finally made her way back to Nicole’s spot at the bar, she was gone. All that was left was cash at her place, with the full glass of peppermint schnapps sitting atop it. 

\--

“Fudgenuggets,” Waverly grumbled, eye catching on the red and white labeled bottle once again. She roughly shoved it toward the back of the shelf, clinking against other bottles as she deliberately hid it from view. 

“Hey, you okay?” Rosita called. 

Waverly nodded and turned her back to the liquor. “Yeah, of course.” 

It wasn’t a lie.... exactly. 

She really was, except for the fact that damn bottle reminded her of Nicole every time she saw it. 

Rosita hummed apprehensively as she walked closer. “You’ve been giving the schnapps the stink eye all week. Overdo it already? It’s not even December yet.” 

Waverly sighed. “No, I just—I think I messed up. Might’ve offended someone.” 

“You? ‘Nicest Person in Purgatory?’ I doubt it.” 

Waverly’s stomach twisted with guilt, knowing she hadn’t exactly lived up to the title in welcoming Nicole to town years ago and how it had clouded their interactions since. She looked around the bar, remembering the first time Nicole stepped into Shorty’s, leaving behind a business card for the surplus store that advertised “Under New Ownership!” and a promise of  _ some other time _ that Waverly failed to fulfill. 

“Are you alright for a few? If I go for a walk, get some fresh air.” 

“I’m almost offended that you have to ask.” Rosita winked. “Get out of here.” 

Waverly smiled, before grabbing her coat. “Thanks, I won’t be long.”

She paused outside the saloon, the cool breeze nipping at her cheeks and ears. She turned to her right, determined to make right on a three-year-old invitation. Waverly marched toward the surplus store, forcing herself to keep going, even as a filter of red and blue swirling lights dropped over the scene, and she felt a cold sweat break out across her back. 

Her vision started to darken, and Waverly took two more steps before she knew she couldn’t carry on any further. She stopped, conceding defeat and plopping onto the edge of the sidewalk, facing the road. She put her head in her hands and took deep breaths, inhaling the smell of the salt on the concrete and diesel fumes that lingered from a passing truck until her head didn’t feel quite as woozy. 

\--

Waverly hefted her bag higher on her shoulder as she reached the door and turned the lock. Though the bar was largely dark, she turned back around, using the dim, late-afternoon light that streamed in through the windows to double-check that everything had been put away properly. As she was surveying the scene, she heard the hinges open behind her, and the heavy wood door slammed into her shoulder. 

She hissed, rubbing her arm as she stepped away from the door. Waverly turned, seeing Nicole framed in the doorway, head down as she pushed into the bar. 

“Wait, Nicole. What are you… ?” 

The rest of the question died on her tongue as she watched Nicole freeze like a deer in headlights. Nicole scanned the bar, seeing the chairs up on tables and lights off. 

“Oh right, it’s Sunday.” Nicole shook her head. “Sorry, I forgot. I was just coming in for some food, but I’ll…” 

Waverly eyed Nicole’s uncharacteristically frazzled state. Nicole turned away, facing the street, and looked back at the other stores' darkened windows. 

“Are you okay?” Waverly asked. 

“Yeah, I just hadn’t eaten today, lost track of time, and didn’t want to cook for myself.” 

“I can make you something,” Waverly offered, already retreating a step back into the bar, but Nicole shook her head. 

“No, I should head home anyway. Check on the cat.” 

There was a reluctance, a sadness that seeped into Nicole’s tone that Waverly hadn’t seen before. 

Nicole started to turn away when Waverly reached out, grabbing her arm. 

“Why don’t you come with me instead? Sunday’s family dinner and my aunt always makes enough to feed all of Purgatory.” 

Waverly sensed an argument coming and cut it off before Nicole could start, “Not just literal family. Nedley will probably be there, and some others you probably know from around town.” 

Nicole didn’t answer, instead she glanced down at Waverly’s hand, still wrapped around her jacket-covered forearm. Waverly gently pulled it back, biting the inside of her cheek to prevent her from rambling into the silence. 

Finally, Nicole seemed to sag in resignation and nodded. 

Waverly beamed. “Good, let me lock up.” 

\--

It took some extra coaxing to get Nicole to ride along in her Jeep, with Nicole not wanting Waverly to have to drive her back into town afterward, but Waverly insisted. She couldn’t shake the feeling that Nicole would bail if she followed her… and the feeling that Nicole shouldn’t be by herself tonight. 

Her choice was confirmed as she watched the transformation from the dejected Nicole that pushed her way into Shorty’s a few hours ago to the Nicole seemingly enjoying herself: talking to everyone, playing with Alice, even humoring Wynonna with drink after drink. 

As she watched Nicole tumble to the carpet laughing after she let Alice knock her to the ground while they played some game only those two understood the rules of, Wynonna elbowed her, offering to refill her drink. 

“I know, right? I could’ve probably had free babysitting this whole time,” Wynonna whined. “Who knew Red had so much personality?”

Waverly took a sip of whiskey, watching Alice run after Nicole into another room, as she wondered,  _ what else don’t we know about her? _

That question lingered her in mind the rest of the evening, even as she drove them both back to town, laden with leftovers and a scolding from Gus that Nicole better come back next week. 

The ride back toward town was quiet, only the wipers, set to their longest delay to brush away the softly falling flurries, squeaking occasionally against the windshield. Between the near-silence and stillness from the passenger seat, Waverly was sure Nicole had fallen asleep—and wouldn’t have been surprised between the food and whiskey. It was hard to keep her eyes from drifting to the right, but each time she glanced over, she could see the faint light reflecting in Nicole’s eyes. 

When Waverly finally came to a stop in front of Shorty’s to drop Nicole off, she kept the Jeep idling to keep it warm, but Nicole didn’t move. Waverly waited, flicking off the wipers as the snow fell faster. It wasn’t until the glass was nearly covered until she looked over to see Nicole looking resolutely straight ahead, into the piling up snow. 

“Thank you,” Nicole murmured softly, and the gratitude in her tone wasn’t lost on Waverly. 

Before Waverly could respond, Nicole hastily opened the door and hopped out into the night. 

\--

When Nicole came in for her usual on Tuesday night, the bar was packed. The hockey team was out of town, playing their rival team, and it seemed all of Purgatory had turned out to watch the game at Shorty’s. 

Waverly barely had time to get Nicole’s drinks, much less stop for the conversation she had hoped to have since her drive home on Sunday night. She swore under her breath when she spied Nicole’s half-empty beer, worried she'd lose her chance. Waverly glanced at the screen and breathed a small sigh of relief to see less than five minutes to go in the third period. 

Bypassing some customers who needed more attention, Waverly weaved her way back to the bar, stopping in front of Nicole. 

“Hey, I actually wanted to talk to you. Do you mind hanging back, after the game? This should clear out pretty quick once it's over.” 

Nicole nodded apprehensively. 

“Want another beer? On me?” Waverly smiled through her sudden nerves and turned toward the taps without waiting for Nicole’s response. 

\--

Once the hockey fans closed their tabs and headed out for the night, Waverly could finally turn her attention to Nicole. She walked back toward the bar with a tray of empty glasses and a decent tip, watching as Nicole fidgeted with the coaster under her glass. 

Waverly deposited it all behind the bar before pouring a whiskey for herself. 

“What’s up?” Nicole asked, immediately as Waverly turned her way. 

Waverly took a sip from her glass before walking closer, leaning over the bar. “Thanks for coming with me, the other night. It was really… nice.” 

Nicole nodded, slow and apprehensive. “It was.” 

Nicole’s phone flashed with an incoming call from its spot on the bar. 

She grumbled as she hastily pressed to ignore it. “Sorry.” 

“Do you need to get that? It’s okay if you do.”

“No, it’s just—” Nicole cut herself off abruptly with a shake of her head. “What were you saying?” 

“I was thinking… I still owe you that cup of coffee, from like…” Waverly paused, doing the math in her head. “... _ three _ years ago?” 

Waverly cursed herself,  _ had it really been that long? _

Nicole’s eyes lit up for the barest of seconds, but it faded so quickly it might have been a trick from the glow of the festive lights and shiny tinsel decorating the bar—it might have been the only moment where Waverly cursed herself for  _ maybe _ overdoing it. Before Waverly could consider it more, Nicole picked up her beer and finished it hastily. 

“It’s okay,” Nicole answered. “I mean, you never charge me what you should here, so we’re, uh, we’re even.” 

Waverly felt her stomach sinking and resisted the urge to add the rest of her whiskey to it. 

“Are you sure?” Waverly asked, even as Nicole stood to leave. 

Waverly bit her lip, knowing her disappointment at this turn had seeped into her tone. 

Nicole’s eyes were down as she pulled some cash from her pocket. There was a pause, a moment as if Nicole really contemplated Waverly’s question before her gaze lifted, a sad smile on her face. 

She nodded before answering. “I mean it.” 

Nicole turned and walked out of the bar, leaving Waverly alone with her guilt and past regrets. 


	2. Chapter 2

Nicole pulled her beanie on as she stepped out into the night air. She tugged at the material, covering her ears more thoroughly, as Waverly’s “three years ago” in that disbelieving tone rang hollowly in them. 

As she walked back to her shop, Nicole shook her head to herself. There was no way Waverly would remember their first encounters as well as Nicole did, and that shouldn’t be the surprise that it felt. She glanced back at Shorty’s and shook her head again, trying to free her mind of her first time in the bar once more. Nicole picked up her pace, willing more space between herself and Shorty’s… and Waverly. 

Because if Waverly had really been interested then, she wouldn’t have avoided Nicole, and the surplus store, like she had for the last three years. And if Waverly was interested now, she wouldn’t still be avoiding it. 

\--

The store phone rang, and Nicole automatically reached for it. The receiver was halfway to her ear before she realized the day of the week and twisted to look at the clock on the wall while spouting off her usual greeting. 

“...Surplus, but we’re closed… but I’m here… so what do you need?” 

“Gus is going to be disappointed if you blow off dinner tonight.” 

“Hello, to you too, Waverly,” Nicole sighed. “How’d you know I was still here?” 

“Hi,” Waverly added hurriedly. “And I can see the lights are on in your shop from Shorty’s.” 

“Ah.” Nicole turned toward the front window automatically. Even though she knew Waverly couldn’t see her, she imagined Waverly looking down the road in her direction. 

“I’ll drive,” Waverly offered. 

“Uh, you did last time,” Nicole answered slowly before inspiration, or perhaps desperation, struck. “But… that’s fine. Come down here, I’ll meet you out front.” 

Waverly stammered and stuttered, and Nicole’s stomach sank before she took pity on her. 

“Never mind, give me 10 minutes to lock up and walk down there.” 

She hung up before Waverly could answer. Nicole reached for her keys but paused, looking at three boxes of shipments in the corner. All came in yesterday and still needed to be unpacked. She wanted to call Waverly back, cancel—it wasn’t an excuse, a practical reason for her to stay late—but she thought back to last Sunday, the love in the room, the food, and Waverly driving them steadily through the snow. 

She picked up her keys and flicked off the lights. 

_ One more time couldn’t hurt,  _ Nicole thought, already penciling in next Sunday evening to do inventory. 

\-- 

Waverly hummed along to the radio, picking up on a song Nicole couldn’t recognize through the static. 

These rides with Waverly, easy conversation on the way to Gus’s, and comfortable silence on the way back, were  _ almost  _ enough on their own to test Nicole’s resolution that tonight would be her last Sunday tagging along. But between Waverly at her side all evening and Gus’s hug goodbye with a “see ya next week,” Nicole knew she’d be letting down more than just herself. 

It was almost too perfect of a moment for Nicole to break it by bringing up the past, but her confusion and curiosity lingered in the back of her mind all evening… and three years of uncertainty had been far from perfect too. Though she wanted to blurt it out, just ask why, Waverly’s panicked stammering over the phone earlier today held her back. 

When Waverly flicked on her turn signal to turn onto Main Street, Nicole knew she was running out of time. She licked her lips before breaking the near-silence. 

“Hey, can I ask you something?” 

Waverly shifted in her periphery. Nicole glanced to her left, seeing Waverly’s unreadable expression lit up by the streetlights and holiday decorations strung across storefronts. 

“Of course.” 

“There’s… there’s a reason you never stopped by my store when I first came to town… and why you still won’t come close to it… isn’t there?” 

The silence seemed deafening in Nicole’s ears, but she waited. Waited until Waverly had shifted into park in front of Shorty’s before breaking it. Again. 

“It’s okay, I just want to know...” Nicole added softly, focused on the windshield, watching the red and green lights from the saloon reflect in streaks against the glass. “...I just need to know if I’m the reason. Did I overstep?” 

“No, Nicole, it’s not you. It’s  _ definitely  _ not you.” 

Nicole nodded slowly, not needing to look over to see if Waverly’s expression was sincere. 

“We  _ really _ don’t know each other that well, do we?” Waverly added. 

Nicole shook her head. “No, we don’t… did you think that we did?” 

Nicole turned toward the driver’s seat to see Waverly, brow furrowed, side of her lip tight between her teeth, and gaze far away from the inside of the Jeep. 

“I guess… maybe I thought we did?” Waverly shook her head before meeting Nicole’s eyes. “I’m sorry, that was stupid. But… I want to fix it. Or try? Come inside, have a nightcap?” 

Nicole opened her mouth, the words “no,” “not tonight,” “some other time,” and other hollow platitudes automatically on the tip of her tongue. She snapped it closed, finding herself wanting to say yes. 

“No coffee, I promise,” Waverly added, with a timid smile. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I think I’d like that.” 

\--

“Why did you move here? Why Purgatory?” 

Nicole was halfway through the beer she was nursing, and Waverly was pouring her second whiskey when the question finally came up. 

Though the small talk was bound to eventually swing in this direction, Nicole fought against the itch she suddenly had to leave and avoid the question entirely. She had lost track of how long she and Waverly sat at the bar, and if it hadn’t been so enjoyable talking to Waverly without the usual distractions in the saloon, Nicole didn’t doubt that itch would’ve been a full-on squirm that would’ve carried her out the bar and back to her shop. 

“Can I get a little of that?” Nicole asked, tilting her head toward the bottle. 

“Yeah, of course.” Waverly grabbed another rocks glass from under the bar and poured a generous amount before handing it across the counter. 

While Waverly placed the bottle on the bartop, within arm’s reach of both their stools, and rounded the counter, Nicole drained her whiskey and set the glass aside. The burn down the back of her throat and then the warmth left behind washed down some of her nerves. 

Waverly settled back onto her barstool, and the concern on her face drove Nicole to finally answer the question. 

“I just wanted a simple life in a small town with a view of the Rockies… since I can’t enjoy them.” 

Her voice turned sour at the end, with the detail she didn’t mean to let slip. Whatever hope she might have held that it had gone unnoticed by Waverly quickly vanished, seeing the deepening worry line on Waverly’s forehead. 

“But there are other merits,” Nicole added hastily, voice so falsely cheery it made the whiskey in her stomach stir uncomfortably. “I can go, watch the hockey team lose, commiserate with a stranger about how much they suck over a beer. What more is there, really?” 

She sipped her beer, hoping to distract herself from Waverly’s eyes seemingly boring into her soul.

But Waverly’s attention was still on her after she set the glass back on the counter. 

“You did know that moving to a small town, being new around here, wouldn’t be easy?” Waverly asked her shrewdly. “Change around here sticks out like a sore thumb.” 

Nicole spun her beer on its coaster as she weighed her words. “Oh, I know. And change was what I wanted. I just figured I’d… embrace it or something. Keep the rumors flowing by keeping to myself, being the crazy cat lady who’s armed to the teeth. Something like that.” 

“Or the mysterious, attractive store owner who doesn’t decorate for Christmas,” Waverly teased. 

“Well, I didn’t know that could be a thing until I got here,” Nicole mused before taking another sip of her beer, one word in Waverly’s reply finally sinking in. “Wait, you think I’m… attractive?” 

Waverly nodded, suddenly sheepish. “I’ve always thought so. From the first time you walked in here.” 

Nicole contemplated the statement, remembering once again the first time she stepped into the bar, and then shuddering at all the reasons that led her to Purgatory in the first place. Desperate for a new start. 

“You ruined it, you know?” 

“Ruined it?” Waverly asked, tone hesitant as if she didn’t know if Nicole was teasing or serious. 

The truth was both, but Nicole ignored that fact. 

“Yep. You… you made it really hard to keep to myself.” 

Waverly paused, biting her lip before answering slowly. “That doesn’t sound like a terrible thing… but is it?” 

“I thought it was… I’m not sure anymore.” Nicole reached for her beer, catching the time on her watch with the movement. She finished it, emptying the glass before getting to her feet. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how late it is. I should head out. You want a hand cleaning up?” 

Waverly shook her head, the lingering worry mark still faintly creased on her forehead. “No, no, I’ve got it. Are you sure?” 

Nicole reached for her wallet and nodded. “Yeah, I’ve got an early delivery coming in, in like 4 hours.”

Waverly stilled her hand, cold fingers wrapping around her wrist and sending goosebumps up her arm. “No money, I invited you here.” 

“Yeah, but this is your business. It’s not like you invited me into your home.” 

Waverly’s hand fell limply away, and Nicole felt her stomach twist, unsure what she said wrong. Waverly gave her little context to work off of, hopping off her barstool to grab their glasses. 

“I’ll, um, I’ll see you Tuesday?” Nicole said hesitantly, addressing her words to Waverly’s back. 

Waverly didn’t turn around, just nodded. “Yeah, see you then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thank you to my beta [@LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/LuckyWantsTo). If you’d like to find me on Twitter, I’m [@DubiousOrange17](https://twitter.com/dubiousorange17).


	3. Chapter 3

“Oi! Whiskey stat!” 

Waverly looked up from double-checking her order form, only to be spooked by her sister’s proximity. She jumped away from the counter, away from where Wynonna was leaning over the bartop. 

“Really, Wynonna?!” she huffed, hand covering her racing heart. “Was that necessary?” 

“Yeah, I’ve been trying to flag you down for 10 minutes. Any longer and I’d have given up and gone elsewhere.” 

Waverly rolled her eyes before reaching for Wynonna’s go-to whiskey and a glass. “Yeah, yeah, fine by me. You can go somewhere else. I’m sure they’ll give you all the free drinks too.” 

“I mean, they might. Just the once,” Wynonna shrugged before eagerly taking both the glass and bottle and sitting back on her stool. “They just might not have intended for them to be free.” 

Without Wynonna hanging over the counter, Waverly finally noticed that her sister wasn’t alone. It was unsurprising to see the sheriff, but it was a shock to see an unusually pale Nicole on the stool between them, with haunted eyes staring down at the bartop. 

Waverly glanced at the clock before addressing them. “It’s a little early for you to be in, Sheriff. The usual? And what about you, Nicole?” 

The sheriff grunted his approval, but Waverly couldn’t help but notice his eyes were to the side, watching Nicole as if he expected her to fall off her stool at any moment. 

Nicole didn’t answer, didn’t even acknowledge the question, so Waverly ducked, trying to meet her eyes. “Hey Nicole, do you want anything?” 

Wynonna reached over, grabbing another rocks glass from underneath the bar. “She’ll have the same as me.” 

Waverly waited until Wynonna sat the glass down before smacking her hand. 

She tried again, even as her sister was messily filling the glass to the brim. “Do you want something else, Nicole?” 

Nicole shook her head finally, croaking out a “thanks” before eagerly reaching for her glass. 

Waverly turned away, contemplating Nicole’s state while fixing Nedley’s whiskey and ginger ale, with only enough bourbon to cover the bottom of a rocks glass. She turned back around and handed off the drink, eyeing how little remained in Nicole’s glass already. 

Another customer flagged Waverly down before she could ask any more questions. With happy hour quickly approaching, every time Waverly tried to make her way back to that section of the bar, there was someone filling an empty seat or someone else needing a refill. She tried to make sense of it all between slinging drinks and distributing them around the room. Between her glances at the bar, questions snowballed in her mind, watching from afar as the whiskey level in the bottle in front of Wynonna steadily lowered, and Nedley barely touched his drink. 

When the crowd finally started to thin, Waverly saw a chance, in the form of Wynonna on her way to the bathroom. She cut her sister off, grabbing her by the sleeve of her leather jacket, and steering her to the side. 

“What happened to Nicole?” Waverly whispered. 

“Oh, uh, Nedley and I had to talk to her. Get some information on someone we’re looking for. We think she sold them some clothing, from what we picked up on surveillance.” 

Wynonna pulled away, but Waverly tightened her grip. 

“That’s it? And she’s taking it so… poorly?” 

“Eh. No.” Wynonna grimaced. “But unless you want to clean piss off the floor, you better let go.” 

Waverly huffed but released her grip on her sister’s jacket and marched back to the bar. 

Nicole was in a worse state, elbows resting on the bar and hands cradling her forehead. 

“Maybe I should’ve been a firefighter,” she mumbled, a slight slur to her words, but Waverly was surprised it wasn’t more noticeable given how little whiskey remained in the bottle. 

“A hose jockey?” Nedley scoffed. “C’mon Nicole, you’re better than that.” 

She moaned something indistinguishable as Nedley finished his drink. He patted her on the back and stood. 

“Buck up, kid. Nothin’ different you could’ve done here. Earp and I gotta go back to the station, review the footage you gave us. See if we can figure out who’s behind these arson cases. I’ll come back in a little while, make sure you get home alright.” 

Nicole shook her head, pathetically. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Nedley glared at the back of her head before turning toward Waverly. 

“I’ve got her,” she mouthed. 

“Good luck,” he grumbled, shrugging into his jacket. “Call us if she gives you any trouble.” 

Waverly watched him leave the bar, waiting until the door shut before addressing Nicole once again. 

“You want anything else? Some food? Maybe some water?” Waverly offered. 

Nicole looked up, eyes wide as if she just noticed Waverly was there. She rubbed at her face before nodding. 

“Yeah, both. Both would be good.” 

“I’ll grab you a menu,” Waverly replied, watching as Nicole refilled her whiskey once more. 

\--

“Hey, you don’t have to help with that.” 

Waverly watched as Nicole continued anyway, turning over another chair and setting it atop the table. 

“I’ve got the rest,” Nicole assured her, an uneasy smile on display. “It’s the least I can do.” 

Nicole moved to the next table, with a slight limp that Waverly was sure hadn’t been there before. 

Waverly turned away, busying herself with closing up things behind the bar. 

In the few hours since Nedley originally left, Waverly wasn’t sure how much Nicole had sobered up, if at all. She had slowed her whiskey intake, adding in a few glasses of water, but continued to refill her glass right up until last call. 

“Need a hand with anything else?” Nicole asked, moving to the last table. 

“Um, do you mind sweeping up?” 

“Not at all. Where’s your broom?” 

Waverly directed her to the basement, and the bar was quiet as Waverly put away glasses and wiped down the counter until Nicole got the section on the other side of the bar. 

“Hey, um, I hope this doesn’t sound… unappreciative… but why did you offer to take me home?” Nicole asked. 

The sheriff had returned, an hour before closing, offering Nicole a ride. Waverly had sensed an argument building at the bar before she intervened with an offer to take Nicole home herself, so she didn’t land in the drunk tank. 

Waverly stilled. “Do you appreciate it?” 

“Yes. And no. But mostly yes.” 

Waverly quirked an eyebrow at that. “Did you want to sleep it off on a metal bench at the sheriff’s station?” 

“Not exactly. But… why?” 

“You seem like you’re having a rough day. I just wanted to help.” 

Nicole nodded slowly. “And… you do this for… everyone?” 

“No, just the people I care about.” 

Nicole nodded again, seeming to struggle to process that comment. And she was still nodding to herself as she returned to sweeping. 

\--

“Thank you, seriously.” 

Waverly shifted into park in Nicole’s driveway before glancing at the passenger seat. Though Nicole seemed much closer to her usual self, Waverly couldn’t shake the image of her from earlier in the afternoon. 

“No problem, happy to do it…” Waverly hesitant before she asked, “Are you… are you okay by yourself tonight?” 

“Oh. Yeah, don’t worry about it.” 

Nicole opened the door and stepped out of the Jeep. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she frantically grabbed for the door. 

“Nicole?” 

“Ice. Help.” Nicole gritted out, holding herself up with the door. 

Waverly jumped out of the car and rounded the hood, carefully treading across the layer of black ice. She reached for Nicole and carefully helped her right herself. 

“Are you okay?” Waverly asked.

Nicole nodded, seeming to avoid meeting Waverly’s eyes. 

“Come on, let’s get you inside.” 

Nicole leaned heavily on Waverly as she guided them to the front door. Waverly thought maybe Nicole wasn’t as sober as she thought, but then she remembered the limp from earlier. 

Nicole flipped on the lights after they crossed the threshold, illuminating bare walls and a functionally furnished main level. Waverly guided Nicole to the couch, gently lowering her onto the thick blanket covering the seats and draped across the back. 

Waverly took a step back, noting the pillow at one end, complete with a large orange cat sleepily stirring atop it, and realized the blanket was a comforter. 

_Did Nicole sleep here?_

The cat hopped across the couch, closer to Waverly and stepping on Nicole with each paw in the process, purring for attention. 

“Who’s this?” Waverly asked, the cat leaning into her hands as she ran them through its thick fur. 

“Oh, that’s Calamity Jane. She usually doesn’t warm up to people so quickly.” 

Waverly glanced around the room. “Is she the most outgoing of your cats?” 

“Cats? I only have one.”

Waverly froze, and Calamity Jane whined. “Crazy cat lady, you only have one cat?!” 

Nicole leaned back against the cushions. “Right. About that. They’re… less affectionate than I remembered.” Nicole shrugged. “Turns out, I _might_ be more of a dog person.” 

Waverly smirked. “It's good to know I’m not the only one who ruined your grand plans for Purgatory.” 

“I didn’t mean—” 

“It’s fine,” Waverly assured, pushing her own guilt aside. She felt the cat scratch at her hands. “Does Calamity Jane need any food or water?” 

Nicole shook her head.

“Can I get you anything? Or help you get to bed?”

“No, I’m fine, really. But it’s _really_ icy out there, are you, er—” 

“Am I fine driving home, having spent my entire life driving in winters much worse than this? Yes, I think I am.” 

“I didn’t mean—” 

“I know…“ Waverly wrapped her arms around her middle. “Are you—are you sure you’re okay? Because I’m much more worried about you than I am about the roads.” 

Nicole nodded. “You don’t have to go though. There’s a perfectly good bed upstairs.” 

Waverly hesitated, unsure what to make of Nicole’s offer and the degree of concern and caring in her tone. Calamity Jane swiped at her hands again, and Nicole chuckled. 

“I mean, how can you say no to the cat?” 

Waverly sighed, petting the cat again. “Fine, but only for Calamity Jane.” 

\--

Waverly stumbled down the stairs, a lack of sleep and unfamiliarity of the layout both leading to her lack of coordination. 

It was at least two hours before she ordinarily would have woken up, but two loud crashes from the lower level spurred Waverly to check on Nicole. 

She wandered into the kitchen to find Nicole picking pots and pans off the floor. 

“M—morning,” Waverly yawned.

Nicole winced. “Shit, sorry. Did I wake you?” 

“A little. What are you doing?” 

Nicole ran a hand through her disheveled hair. “I wanted to make breakfast for you—as a thank you—but I think I’m more hungover than I realized.” 

Waverly scanned the kitchen, seeing a broken mug, containers knocked on their side on the counter. 

“The best cure for a hangover involves someone else cooking for you. Want to go to the diner instead?” 

\--

Waverly waited until Nicole had perked up from her combination of coffee, eggs, hash browns, and toast, before indulging some of her curiosity from the night before. 

“You were limping a little last night,” Waverly stated slowly, not missing the way Nicole jumped, fork clattering to her plate at the statement. “Are you hurt?”

Nicole shook her head, desperately reaching for her coffee. “It’s an old injury. Sometimes the cold gets to it.” 

Waverly frowned, feeling like Nicole was keeping something from her. She picked at the fruit on her plate, all too aware that she hadn’t been entirely truthful with Nicole either. How could she expect Nicole to be honest with her when she couldn’t even bring herself to step within 50 yards of Nicole’s business? 

She cleared her throat. “Hey, you had asked the other day about why I never… why I never visited your shop when you first came to town. And why I still haven’t been there… I should’ve told you then, really anytime before now, why. I didn’t know you thought _you_ were the reason this whole time. Have you heard about the incident that happened there? Before you came to town?” 

Nicole nodded, frowning slightly. “Yeah, I actually heard a bit more about it yesterday from Wynonna and Nedley… I’m, I’m really sorry, Waverly. About Shorty. I knew the bar was his, but I didn’t know the connection.” 

Waverly sighed. “Did Wynonna mention she was one of the hostages?” 

“No, she left that out.” 

“She always does.” Waverly rolled her eyes. “I just, I haven’t been able to face going in the store since then. Every time, I just think about what could’ve happened… if Wynonna had…” 

Waverly felt her eyes water, and Nicole reached across the table. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I know, and I should’ve… I should’ve told you ages ago. I was _really_ embarrassed,” Waverly finally admitted. 

“There’s no need to be.” 

The conviction in Nicole’s voice almost made her believe that she wasn’t silly for avoiding it for so long. 

“So, how did you get Shorty’s?” Nicole asked. 

“Gus got it first. She wanted to sell it, I think, to force me to do something… bigger, but I talked her into letting me buy her out. I couldn’t let it go to someone else… I practically grew up here. I had to keep it in the family.” 

“That’s a big undertaking.” Nicole replied. 

Waverly nodded. “Gus helped me out a lot over the first year. I couldn’t have done it without her…” she looked back across the table at Nicole, still not sure how three years had passed since she came to town. “It’s been a ton of work, and I’d do it all again in a heartbeat… but maybe I’d also do some other things differently?”

Nicole’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” 

“I do feel like I’ve been so focused on it, I’ve missed out on some things… some that were right in front of me.”

\--

Nicole stopped on the sidewalk, hands deep in the pockets of her coat while she eyed the decorations on Shorty’s exterior, as if suddenly seeing them in a new light. 

After they finished breakfast, Waverly had offered to drive Nicole home, but Nicole insisted she needed to open up her store for the day. So Waverly drove them both to Shorty’s and parked out front. 

In spite of her insistence on going back to work, Nicole seemed to be stalling. 

“You really love Christmas, don’t you?” 

“I do. I know you don’t like it, but…” Waverly trailed off, turning to look at the display herself, remembering doing it with Curtis. “...in spite of everything, it’s still my favorite time of the year.” 

“I’d love to hear more about it, maybe the next night you have off?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra thanks to my beta [@LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/LuckyWantsTo) for helping me get through some last minute edits to make this better for you all. 
> 
> A happy Festivus to all. You can air all your grievances from the past year on Twitter, [@DubiousOrange17](https://twitter.com/dubiousorange17).


	4. Chapter 4

When Nicole pulled into a spot in front of Shorty’s, Waverly was waiting outside the bar. The flashing holiday lights illuminated Waverly’s failed attempt to hide her laughter behind her hand. She walked closer, motioning for Nicole to lower the window. 

Nicole swore, hitting her elbow on the door as she reached for the handle to wind it down. 

“Why don’t I drive?” Waverly offered. 

Nicole turned toward her, wincing as her knee slammed into the steering wheel. “No, it’s fine.” 

Waverly pursed her lips. “Are you sure this can make it to the city and back… without spinning out?”

“After three winters here, I’ve learned to keep chains on the tires. I promise it’s safe.” 

Waverly stepped back and glanced at the tires. Though she wasn’t ordinarily self-conscious of her car, the scrutiny made Nicole worry Waverly might change her mind about tonight. 

“Fine. But if we have to call Wynonna to pull your car out of a ditch, she’ll never let you live it down,” Waverly teased, shivering slightly in the cold. 

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. C’mon, it’s warm in here.” 

Waverly huffed, her breath a visible cloud, before dispelling into the night sky, and hurried around the car as Nicole wound up the window. 

Once Waverly shut the door behind her, she looked over at Nicole. An eyebrow quirked at how Nicole having her hands on the wheel forced her elbows to be tucked close to her body. 

“Have you ever thought about getting, um, a  _ bigger _ car?” 

“Sometimes, maybe? Why?” 

Nicole heard the amusement in Waverly’s voice when she answered. “No reason. So where are we going?” 

\--

“Nicole, this is the wrong exit.” 

Nicole had flicked on her turn signal, prompting Waverly to speak over the grinding of chains on asphalt for the first time, since they left the city. 

Nicole glanced at the passenger seat before turning onto the off ramp. “I know, mind if we make a little detour?”

“Not at all,” Waverly replied, uncertainty in her tone as she shifted in her seat. “Where are we going?” 

Nicole smiled. “You’ll see.” 

She half-expected Waverly to know as soon as she turned off the highway at this exit, knowing Waverly’s love of Christmas and the only attraction off this particular off-ramp. Nicole turned left off the exit, and it took two more turns, following the hand-painted signs staked in the ground until a knowing gasp came from the passenger seat. 

“Oh Nicole! We don’t have to. I know… this is exactly your thing.” 

“I’ve heard it’s a must-see sort of display,” Nicole replied, following another arrow at the stop sign and turning right, multi-color lights softly glowing through the dark visible in the distance. “Have you ever been?” 

“Not since I was little,” Waverly admitted softly. 

Nicole glanced to the right. With the glow getting strong as they approached their destination, it highlighted a sadness on Waverly’s face. 

As they drove through the farm turned into a drive-through light show, Nicole had a hard time keeping her eyes on the path, fighting the urge to instead look at the passenger seat. Though this really wasn’t something she would’ve done on her own, not in the past few years, she found herself enjoying it: seeing the excitement in Waverly’s face and the bright reflection of snowmen, reindeer, Santa, and snowflakes in Waverly’s eyes. 

When they reached the exit, Nicole heard a shuddering breath from the passenger seat and turned to see Waverly wiping at her eyes. 

“Are you okay?” 

Waverly nodded. “I’m sorry.” 

“ _ I’m  _ sorry… I thought you’d enjoy it.” 

Waverly sniffled. “I did. This was very thoughtful.” 

Nicole squirmed, unsure if Waverly’s statement was genuine or attempting to soothe her ego. Her hand twitched on the gearshift, but Waverly reached for it, pulling it into her lap before Nicole could put it back on the wheel.

“My uncle always made the holidays so special…” Waverly said softly, “...especially when I was growing up and Wynonna wasn’t around. The last time I was here was with him.” 

Nicole squeezed Waverly’s hand. “I really am sorry… you miss him, huh?” 

“I do. He used to go all-out for Christmas, and I guess you can say I get it from him. Everyone used to love how he decorated Shorty’s, and I couldn’t let the tradition die with him.” 

Nicole nodded, unsure what to say. 

There was a moment of silence before Waverly added. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t keep rambling on about something you don’t like.”

Nicole bit her lip, trying to push away the uneasy feeling that set in with Waverly’s words. 

“I used to enjoy it.” 

“Yeah? What did you like about it?” Waverly asked. 

“Getting a Christmas tree—a real one, chopping it down and everything. Buying presents. I used to spearhead a toy drive at my last job, deliver them around town to kids dressed like an elf on Christmas Eve, so they had something to open on Christmas.”

Waverly chuckled. “Tallest elf ever. That’s really sweet of you. What changed?” 

Waverly seemed to sense how Nicole tensed at the question and entwined their fingers. 

“Um, something… not great... happened, a few years ago. And now it just… it all reminds me of all that I lost.” 

“I’m sorry,” Waverly replied softly. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Nicole shook her head. 

The car fell silent but Nicole could feel uneasiness radiating off Waverly, from the way her hand restlessly twisted in Nicole’s. 

“I shouldn’t… I shouldn’t have pressured into decorating. I didn’t know,” Waverly blurted out. 

“It’s okay, how could you?” 

In spite of Nicole’s words, Waverly’s frown deepened. ‘I hope… I hope you can find a way to enjoy it again.” 

“I liked the lights,” Nicole admitted. “I may… have my own issues with the time of year, but your display is beautiful too.” 

She glanced at the passenger seat just in time to see Waverly smile again. “Thanks Nicole. We should do this again.”

It felt too good to be true, and Nicole paused. For the last five years, she had come to associate this time of year with nothing good and whatever this was with Waverly felt cursed by default as the calendar creeped closer to Christmas. But Waverly’s smile was burned in her mind’s eye, filling her with hope. 

“I’d like that.”

\--

“Hey, I’ve got a little surprise for you.” 

Nicole startled at the hand on her back. 

She had spent the better part of the last hour chasing Alice around Gus’s house and had only stopped when Wynonna intercepted her daughter. 

“Sorry, it’s just me,” Waverly smiled. “You okay?” 

“Yeah. A surprise?” Nicole asked uneasily. 

In spite of Waverly’s “we should do this again” statement earlier in the week, Nicole hadn’t heard from her until earlier in the afternoon. It was just a text, teasing that Nicole’s car wouldn’t make it through that morning’s snow to Gus’s and to meet her at Shorty’s at 5. In spite of her reservations for whatever was building between her and Waverly, Nicole couldn’t shake the disappointment she felt. 

Waverly handed Nicole her jacket, before shrugging into her own puffy coat. 

“Where are we going?” Nicole asked, pulling her beanie out of a pocket. 

“Just for a little drive.” 

Waverly led her out of the house and back to the Jeep. Nicole’s apprehension only grew when Waverly drove them off-road, deeper onto Gus’s property. The headlights were soon the only source of light, the glow from the house having vanished in the mirrors, with only the sounds of the engine and Waverly’s hands restlessly tapping on the wheel. 

“Okay, this seemed like a good idea before, but I just realized it  _ might  _ be a bit insensitive,” Waverly blurted out. 

Nicole turned toward the driver’s seat. “What do you mean?” 

“I just thought, maybe, we could go get you a Christmas tree. A real one. Something to spruce up your place. Gus’s property borders the pine barrens…” 

Waverly’s rambling faded into the background noise, as Nicole glanced at the backseat, seeing a saw and rope to secure it to the roof. She forced herself to turn back around. Even though they were still in the Jeep, she could smell pines, smell the needles, hear wood crackling as it burned, billowing into smoke— 

“...it's the perfect place to cut one down, and—” 

“Turn around, please.” Nicole cringed at the desperation in her voice. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yes.” 

Waverly did, slowing the Jeep and turning in a wide arc before following her tire tracks back toward Gus’s. 

“I”m sorry,” Waverly whispered. “I just thought it would… help?”

“What are you trying to do, fix my holiday spirit?” Nicole hissed, finding her hands tightly gripping the sides of her seat. “Or better yet, fix me?” 

“No Nicole, I just thought—” 

Nicole pried her hands from the seat, her palms damp with sweat. 

“Come on, Waverly, what else could’ve you thought? I figured you’d get it. I haven’t dragged you down to my store, not before, not now that I know why you avoid it, why would you do this?” 

There was a sound of comprehension from the driver’s seat, and Nicole shook her head. 

“Nicole, I didn’t… I should’ve realized. I’m so sorry. Do you… do you want to go back to Gus’s? Or can I drive you home?” 

“Just drop me off, I’ll get Nedley or someone to drive me back.” 

\--

Nicole lingered by the door to her store, watching the sparse vehicle traffic move up and down the street, after she had flipped the sign to closed. 

Ordinarily on a Tuesday she would be eager to close up and walk down the street to Shorty’s. After Sunday night, the thought of seeing Waverly didn’t hold its usual appeal. 

But if the unread texts and two voicemails from Waverly were any indication, Waverly did want to see her. 

Nicole flicked off the lights to the store and locked up, walking to her car instead of down to the bar. She eased into the driver’s seat, not carefully enough as the side of her leg slammed into the steering wheel. She winced, sure that section of skin was just permanently bruised at this point. She hauled the other one in, closed the door, and, in spite of her better judgment, reached for the lever to push the seat further back from the wheel. No matter how hard Nicole shifted her weight, throwing it back into the seat to try to move the seat further back, it remained as stuck as it had been for years. 

She swore, resisting the urge to get out and go to the bar, and finally putting the key in the ignition. It took four times before the engine rumbled to life, but she headed home, taking the long way to avoid passing by Shorty’s. 

When she got home, she grabbed a beer and flopped on the couch, Waverly was still on her mind. She pulled her phone from her pocket, seeing the unread texts and voicemails from Waverly among the other missed calls and voicemails on her screen. 

Her thumb hovered over Waverly’s missed calls, wanting to call and apologize, but seeing the date on the screen held her back. Instead, she pressed one of the other missed calls. It only rang twice before the other end picked up.

“Nicole?” 

“Hey Shae.” 

“You sound… awful.” 

“I mean, I’m talking to my soon-to-be ex-wife… And it’s almost Christmas. What do you expect?” 

Shae sighed on the other end. “No, but… I hoped you’d be… a little better? It’s been a while.” 

Nicole nodded, eyes drifting to the drawer where she had shoved divorce papers six months ago. “It has…” 

Nicole trailed off. For as long as she had put off this conversation, she should have something better to say—for all that happened, all she did, and everything that went wrong—but her brain came up empty.

“Is everything okay?” Shae prompted. 

“Eh, yeah. Yeah. I’m just… I’m sorry.” Her throat felt thick, and she swallowed, trying to free the lump. 

“I know,” Shae replied softly. 

Nicole shook her head, before remembering Shae couldn’t hear her. “I don’t think you do. None of it was your fault… and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” 

She wasn’t sure when she had started crying, but frantically wiped at the tears sliding down her cheeks. 

“Oh, Nicole—” 

“I’m sorry. I  _ really  _ am.” 

“I do know you are… but this doesn’t change anything.” 

“I know. I didn’t think it would… I just needed you to know that and how much I regret it… before I signed the papers.” 

She sensed a pause on Shae’s end, as if she wanted to say something but was holding back. 

“Is there someone else?” Nicole asked, hoping her tone carried over the phone as gentle as she intended. “Is that why… now?” 

“No. There isn’t… but I’d like to find someone. Without feeling guilty.” 

“I’m—” 

“Don’t say you’re sorry, Nicole,” Shae interjected, and for the first time she sounded exasperated. “It’s okay.” 

“Okay.” 

The line was silent, and Nicole glanced at her screen, checking that the call was still connected.

“I’ve been calling you for months. Why tonight?” 

“It’s a long story… but there’s someone here, in Purgatory, whose… holiday spirit is on a whole different level and I just keep thinking back to… when I got hurt. Everything I lost.” 

“Is she cute?” 

There was a knowing tone in Shae’s voice and Nicole was transported back in time, to the familiarity of not ever being able to keep anything, even little surprises, from her wife.

“Maybe?” 

Shae hummed, a teasing hint in her tone. “You always were a terrible liar.” 

“Okay, say she is,” Nicole replied. “Isn’t it all… too good to be true? For this time of year? It feels like a bad omen.” 

“It might be? Or it might not? You won’t know if you don’t pursue it.” 

Nicole thought back to three years’ worth of run-ins with Waverly, Tuesdays sitting across the bar from her, and realizing she didn’t want to sit at that same spot next year, wondering what could’ve been. 

“Hey, you don’t have to let these circumstances take anything else from you. If you do… that’s on you, no one else.” 

Nicole had heard it before, similar sentiments, even those same words and for the first time they didn’t strike a resistance, a protest in her. 

Nicole sighed. “You’re right… I’ll sign those papers, get them in the mail tomorrow.” 

“Thank you. I’ll take care of the rest. I’ve gotta go, but don’t be a stranger? And good luck with the girl.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies to Nicole Haught for giving her the worst car ever in this fic. It was well worth the amusement it provided [@LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/LuckyWantsTo) and me. 
> 
> If you’d like to find me on Twitter, I’m [@DubiousOrange17](https://twitter.com/dubiousorange17).


	5. Chapter 5

Waverly groaned, letting her head fall to the bar top. 

“C’mon Waverly, if you’re so worried about Red, just go down the street and see her,” Wynonna grumbled. 

“I can’t,” Waverly whined into the wood. 

It had been over a week since she had seen or heard from Nicole. Nicole had missed two Tuesday nights at Shorty's and one Sunday dinner, much to Gus’s… and Waverly’s disappointment. 

Wynonna flicked her shoulder. “Why not? You’re not even working.” 

Waverly finally sat up, reaching for her whiskey and drained it. “I can’t. Ever since you were… and Shorty… whenever I get close to it, I just see and feel everything from that day. The worry. The thought of losing you. It makes me sick.” 

“You’ve really never been back there? I can’t believe you never told me,” Wynonna trailed off.

“No! That’s what I’ve been saying.” 

“Alright, jeez.” Wynonna rolled her eyes, before throwing back her own shot. “What if I went with you? Would it make a difference?” 

Waverly weighed the offer, unsure if it would help to see that her sister was with her and not trapped inside the store. “I don’t know… maybe?” 

Wynonna’s phone rang and she reached for it, after a glance turning the screen toward Waverly. 

“Speak of the Red Devil,” Wynonna mused, before pressing to answer. 

Over the noise in the bar, Waverly couldn’t hear what Nicole said, but from the way Wynonna’s smirk grew she guessed it was nothing good. 

“Man, you must be _desperate,_ to call me. Yes...I know I work for the police department but I’m _off duty_. I’d love to help ya out Haught, so I’ll tell you what, I’ll send Waverly out with the Jeep.”

Wynonna’s mischievous tone only confirmed Waverly’s suspicions, and she reached for the phone. 

“No, no, no need to thank me! She’ll be there in 15. Bye!” 

Wynonna hung up and put her phone back on the bar. 

“Haught’s stuck. Her car spun off the road. Tow trucks are backed up, what with the conditions and such, so she’d be there for hours. I offered the services of your Wrangler.” 

“I heard. And you can't come along because…” 

“I need to catch up with my good buddy, Jack.” Wynonna patted her bottle. “Plus I’m not into that whole third-wheel deal. It’ll just make it more awkward for Haught when you unleash all this pent-up sexual tension on her.” 

“It’s not—we’re not—urgh.” Waverly swiped her keys off the counter. “Where is she?” 

\--

Through the heavily falling snow, Waverly slowed, finally spying Nicole’s beige Ford Aspire, spun sideways a few yards off the road with snowdrifts covering three-quarters of the hubcap-less tires. She eased her Jeep off the road, coming to a stop next to the spun-out car. 

Nicole stepped out of her car, visibly shivering and pulling her coat tighter around her. Waverly hopped from the Jeep, boots crunching in the snow. 

“Are you okay?” Waverly called. 

“Yeah, just a little cold.” 

Nicole kicked the side of her car, the side panel pathetically falling off and into the snow, and Waverly bit back a laugh. Waverly opened up the back of her Jeep, grabbing the chains. When she turned back around, Nicole had carefully put the panel back on her car, only for it to fall off once again. 

“Will that fit inside? Or we can tie it to the roof of my Jeep?” Waverly offered. 

Nicole shook her head. “Just leave it. I’m sorry to drag you out here. If I had known Wynonna would send you, I wouldn’t have called.” 

“You’d rather freeze to death than see me? I know what I did was dumb Nicole, but really?!” 

Nicole shook her head. “No, I’m sorry. I meant… I should’ve just called you. Today. And before.” 

“I’m sorry too,” Waverly admitted. “Can we try something again? Another date? Nothing holiday-related, I promise.” 

Nicole toed at the snow before nodding slowly. “Yeah. I’ve missed you.” 

\--

“Do you take all your dates here?” Nicole asked, trepidation in her tone. 

“Nope, this is a first,” Waverly stated. “This is more… a convenient pit stop.” 

“Pit stop?” Nicole repeated, warily eying the sign for the junkyard. 

“Yes. To try and find a replacement panel for your car. And maybe some hubcaps. C’mon.” Waverly patted Nicole’s leg before opening the door to the Jeep. 

Waverly had returned to where Nicole spun out, hopeful of salvaging the quarter panel, but it was gone. She had already checked at the local junkyard, not expecting to have much luck, but knew this particular one, a few towns over and on the way to where she wanted to take Nicole for dinner, might have a better chance. 

“You ladies lost?” 

A man in a grease-covered uniform with a name patch that read “Cal” stepped out of the building, with a tin mug in hand. 

“No,” Waverly replied. “Just looking to see if you might have a quarter panel for a Ford Aspire? Maybe some hubcaps too?” 

Cal squinted at them before Nicole prompted. “Well?” 

“Trying to decide if you two are fucking with me or not. Can’t imagine one of those surviving a Canadian winter.” 

Waverly glanced at Nicole just in time to see her roll her eyes. “Mine’s still going… kind of.” 

Cal spit tobacco into his mug before replying. “No Aspire parts here. But I’ve got a Pinto rusting out back if you’re looking for an upgrade. Just in time for Christmas!” 

He laughed, the sound raising the hair on Waverly’s neck, before retreating back into the building. 

Waverly grimaced before turning back toward Nicole. “I’m sorry. I thought it was worth a try?” 

“It was,” Nicole agreed. “Pit stop over?” 

“Yes, come on. Our real destination is a restaurant that boasts a robust craft beer menu.” 

\--

Waverly parked her Jeep in Nicole’s driveway. She turned toward the passenger seat to find Nicole in no hurry to exit the vehicle, all attention on her. 

“I had a really good time.” 

“Me too…” Waverly trailed off, watching as Nicole swayed toward her, the slightest bit, before leaning back in her seat. 

The hesitation surprised her, thinking back to the first time she met Nicole. 

“You want to kiss me?” Waverly asked gently.

Nicole nodded, cheeks turning pink. 

“What happened to that whole ‘when I see something I like, I don’t want to wait’ concept that you boasted about back when we met?” 

Nicole smiled. “I guess I’ve gotten a little too reserved in three years. But… do you want to come inside?” 

\--

Waverly surveyed the blank walls while Nicole grabbed drinks from the kitchen. It was almost as if Nicole never fully finished unpacking, only putting out what was absolutely necessary. A tv, a couch, a desk with only a pen sitting on its surface, and the sparse furnishings continued to provide little context into Nicole’s past. 

She heard Nicole’s footsteps behind her, and she turned, taking the whiskey Nicole offered her. 

“You didn’t bring much with you when you came to Purgatory, did you?” 

Nicole rubbed at her neck with her free hand. “No, I’m kinda a light traveler. And I was in a hurry to get… away from what I left behind.” 

Waverly thought back to the little she knew about Nicole’s life before Purgatory, and the statement only led to more questions than answers. “What do you mean?” 

Nicole tilted her head toward the couch, the pillow and blanket that were there before gone—at least for the time being. “Do you want to sit?” 

Waverly did, curling up on one side with her back against the armrest to face Nicole as she sat down too. 

“I, uh, I mentioned how this time of year, this season, reminds me of everything I lost?” 

Waverly nodded, wondering if she might finally get some sort of explanation. Nicole took a deep breath before continuing. 

“I used to be a sheriff’s deputy in a town about the size of Purgatory, over in Manitoba. Five years ago, on Christmas Eve, we got a call about a house fire. I beat the firefighters there,” Nicole rolled her eyes, as she said it, “and there were parents, frantic outside, that their son was stuck inside, on the upper level.” 

Nicole’s tone shifted as she continued, becoming almost hollow. “I ran in, managed to get to him, but the floor crumbled out from under me on our way back out and I broke my leg… pretty badly…” 

Nicole took a gulp from her whiskey, and Waverly didn’t want to ask, but wasn’t sure if Nicole would offer on her own. 

“And the kid?” 

“Oh. He was fine. Ambulance to the hospital for some smoke inhalation. Otherwise no lasting damage.” 

“What happened after that?” Waverly asked. 

Nicole fidgeted with her glass. “Surgery. Local doctor said I probably wouldn’t be able to work my way back to being a deputy again, that I wouldn’t be fit enough to return… but I was dead-set on proving her wrong, to get back.”

Nicole fell silent, eyes down, staring at her leg. 

“And you couldn’t?” Waverly prompted. 

“No, I did,” Nicole admitted. “I worked my way back, passed every physical assessment within a few months… but I still couldn’t move like I had before. I knew I was a liability… so I resigned. The sheriff, my colleagues… were practically my family and I cut myself off from all of it. And my ex-wife took the brunt of it.” 

Waverly almost dropped her glass. “Wife?” 

“Yeahhh. So small town, you know, the doctor, the one who said I’d never get back, and told me to consider other career prospects… was my wife. She was right… she always was, and I resented her for it. Almost a year after my injury, she finally told me to get out.” 

“That’s when you came to Purgatory?” 

Nicole nodded. “Yeah. Well, after drifting around a little bit, yes. Saw the store was up for sale, knew there was good hiking, climbing around here, and _stupidly_ thought I’d be able to get back into both.” 

“The other night, with Nedley and Wynonna… is that why you were limping?” 

“Yeah.” Nicole glanced down at what Waverly guessed was her injured leg. She took a sip from her glass before setting it aside. “Yeah, I can usually hide it better. But when I drink too much, I get sloppy.” 

Waverly nodded. “What happened that day? Wynonna said she and Nedley had asked you about someone they were looking for?” 

Though Nicole had seemed uneasy throughout the entire conversation, her embarrassment instantly grew at the question. 

“Apparently they think the guy they were looking for is behind a bunch of arson cases they’re investigating. He’s come into my store a few times, and… I don’t know, I used to be a cop—and I’m okay not being one anymore—but... I should’ve noticed something was off.” Nicole swallowed thickly, clearly ashamed. “And that he’s been burning shit to the ground… got to me.” 

Nicole ran her hands across her face before shaking her head. “How do you do it?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“If this time of year reminds you of your uncle so much… isn’t it hard? I told you before how much it reminds me of all I lost—my ex-wife, my career, my family.” 

“It is… it’s really hard, some days more than others… but I guess I just see it differently. It—it doesn’t have to be a reminder of all that was lost. It can be a reminder of all we were lucky enough to have in our lives.” 

Nicole’s eyes narrowed, and Waverly continued. 

“This time of year, it reminds me of all the good times I had with my Uncle Curtis. I just hope I can create some memories just as great for others. For Alice…” Waverly trailed off, hesitating to voice what she really wanted. “...and maybe for you too? I want that. I want to help you see this time of year for the good in it. If you want that too?” 

A smile broke out on Nicole’s face, and she nodded. “I want that… with you.” 

Waverly leaned over and tugged Nicole closer by the front of her shirt. “And I want that kiss.” 

\--

Waverly woke up, rising with the sun, visible through a gap in the curtains. It had been another late night at Shorty’s, and she rolled, the springs on the old mattress in the room above Shorty’s groaning. 

She faced Nicole, surprised to find her already wide awake. 

“Merry Christmas!” Nicole beamed before leaning forward and kissing Waverly. 

Nicole’s breath was minty fresh and Waverly pulled back abruptly, knowing hers was not. 

“How long have you been up?” 

“I couldn’t sleep,” Nicole admitted, pulling Waverly close again. 

“I thought all those kids would’ve worn you out last night.” 

It had been a lot of work the past few weeks, but Nicole helped Waverly launch a toy drive at Shorty’s. They closed the bar early for Christmas Eve, instead inviting all the kids in Purgatory in to pick a present. 

Nicole shook her head, a wide smile still on her face. “I think they gave me some of their energy, instead. Plus, I can’t wait for Alice to see what I got her.” 

Waverly smiled, happy to see Nicole was just as excited as Alice likely was in that very moment, waking up to see a pile of presents under the tree at Aunt Gus’s. 

“Is it too early to go over to Gus’s?” Nicole asked.

Waverly chuckled, reaching for her phone to check the time. “No, they’re probably up. Can I give you your present first?” 

Nicole leaned forward to kiss her again before answering with a “yes.” 

As Waverly got dressed, she couldn’t help but appreciate the changes Nicole was making. There was one string of lights set up in the window of the surplus store, but more importantly, she had come around to seeing the joy in the season and creating some of it for herself. She still had some moments, and it would take longer to work through all her trauma, but Waverly knew now that Nicole wanted to work through it. 

Waverly took Nicole’s hand and led her down to the bar. 

“Wait right here,” she instructed, kissing Nicole’s cheek before retreating to the basement. 

Waverly grabbed the large, thin gift, wrapped in gold paper and tied with a ribbon, and navigated it up the stairs and into the bar. 

“It’s so… big,” Nicole commented. “You want me to open it now?” 

Waverly nodded, content with her internet research paying off. 

Nicole tore into the paper, revealing the panel that was missing from her car—albeit in teal instead of beige. 

“It won’t match,” Waverly said, pointing out the obvious. “You have no idea how rare these parts are! But it’s better than nothing… until you get something you actually fit into.” 

Nicole laughed. “I love it. Thank you. Maybe I’ll get a little more when I trade it in too.” 

“That’s a little optimistic,” Waverly teased. 

Nicole propped the panel against the wall before pulling Waverly closer. “Thank you. Not just for this… but everything these past few weeks. It’s nice to have a Merry Christmas again… and people to share it with.” 

The light streamed through the windows, and Waverly’s attention was drawn to something green above them. 

She looked back at Nicole, seeing her focus on the mistletoe too. 

“Of course,” Nicole chuckled, leaning in. “Merry Christmas, Waverly.” 

“Merry Christmas, Nicole.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, whether your loved ones are near or far this year. 
> 
> A huge thank you to my beta [@LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/LuckyWantsTo) for helping me scramble to get this together in time. 
> 
> If you’d like to find me on Twitter, I’m [@DubiousOrange17](https://twitter.com/dubiousorange17).

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my beta [@LuckyWantsToKnow](https://twitter.com/LuckyWantsTo) for helping me sneak this in, barely in time for Christmas. 
> 
> If you’d like to find me on Twitter, I’m [@DubiousOrange17](https://twitter.com/dubiousorange17).


End file.
